Just Dropping In
by lifeinanarchy
Summary: Malik and Bakura are getting ready to go out when someone drops in and causes trouble for them.
1. An Unexpected Visitor

Me and my friend decided to write a crackfic using the personalities of the Abridged series characters. This does not mean I won't be continuing my other story, this is just for a laugh and will go for just a few chapters. Read, enjoy, review!

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the characters in this story. Everything apart from plot belongs to Kazuki Takahashi._**

_**Chapter 1:**_

_**An Unexpected Visitor **_

"Will you bloody well hurry up I have to use the loo! No wonder people think you're queer." Bakura said as he stood at the door to the bathroom banging incessantly.

"Shut up, you're gayer!" Malik shouted back as he straightened his hair at the bathroom counter.

"No, I'm just British!"

"So you claim! Besides, I want to look my best if we're going clubbing." Malik said as he applied extra hairspray.

"Will you stop primping yourself; my gaydar is having a seizure!"

As Bakura continued to slam against the door it opened up, causing Bakura to fall forwards onto his knees. His hands reached out before him to grasp Malik's hips to stop himself from falling into Malik but there was too much force behind Bakura's fall, and he hit his forehead on the belt buckle of the figure now standing before him that was now flicking his hair in a more than slightly feminine way as the light shone off it.

"Bloody hell, Malik!" Cursed Bakura just as Anzu walked in on the tableau of Bakura kneeling before Malik.

"Hey guys, I've lost my deck, have you-"

"Why is it so darn big? It bloody well hurts!"

"I thought you said you liked it!" Said Malik, sounding hurt.

"Well that's when it wasn't in my face!"

Upon hearing these words Anzu started drooling a little and promptly fainted. The boys heard the thud that coincided with her connecting with the ground and turned to see Anzu babbling on like an idiot on the ground.

"Oh bollocks" Bakura cursed as Malik walked over to Anzu. Bakura got up off of his knees and sauntered after him.

"Well, what do we do with it?" Malik was standing over her body then shifted his gaze from Anzu to Bakura who was now standing on the other side of her.

"Well first of all, it's a she, _not_ an it. Secondly, we should probably help her. And thirdly I think I'm starting to get a bruise from your belt buckle..." The prominent image of a lightning bolt was forming on Bakura's forehead. Bakura nudged Anzu with his foot to see if he got a reaction. He got no reply and he mumbled under his breath "Stupid Pharaoh groupies."

Bakura bent down to pick up the obtrusive girl in his arms and flung her over his shoulder so that her upper half was dangling behind Bakura. "Come on, we better return her to her harem."

"She has a harem?"Asked Malik, puzzled.

"No, Yami's, you know before when we were saying...Oh never mind. You're just too queer." Bakura said while walking out the front door of their apartment, Malik hot on his heels.

"I'm not gay!"

* * *

"Hah, Yami, I'm finally going to beat you!" Jou claimed as he stared at his hand and the cards on the table. Yami smirked before responding.

"I'm sorry, Jou but I'm going to have to foil your plans once again." He showed everyone the cards in his hand to prove his point.

"Ra Dammit, Yami, you do this every time. How do you always draw the card you need?" Jou was furious as he threw his cards on the table.

"You just have to believe in the heart of the cards, Jou." Yami stated calmly as he placed his cards down. Honda thought it was time to interject.

"Maybe it's time we stop playing poker now guys." Honda stood up from the small table that the five boys were sitting at and went to the cupboard with all of the games in it. "What do you want to play next?" Just at that moment the doorbell rung.

"Well we haven't played truth or dare yet" Yugi said as he stood up and headed for the door.

Upon opening the door Bakura strode forward through the threshold carrying Anzu over his shoulder with Malik tailing him. Bakura flung Anzu on the couch, saying "I believe this belongs to you."

"Anzu?!" Exclaimed Yugi. "But she's a girl! She'll ruin our super-special-awesome-manly-studly poker night!" The other four guys murmured a chorus of agreement.

Otogi sat with his feet rested on the poker table and his hands behind his head. "So just go give her to someone else." Sexy back could be heard faintly in the background as Otogi spoke.

"What, why me? I just brought her here!"

Music started up again as Otogi spoke. "Because you obviously have nothing better to do than to carry an unconscious girl around Domino at 10 at night. Plus we're busy." The music promptly stopped as Otogi did.

"Where is that delightful music coming from?" Malik looked around the room for the source of the music whilst everyone stared at him blankly.

"Moving the bloody hell away from Malik's crazy, where am I supposed to take her this late at night?" Bakura said irritated at the notion that he would have to carry Anzu around some more.

"Don't know don't care" Said Otogi as he picked up Anzu in his arms with ease and thrust her into Bakura's arms while ushering him out the door.

"Seeya later, Harry Potter!" Jou called out to the white haired boy, making reference to the blatantly obvious bruise that now situation itself on Bakura's forehead. The door slammed behind them and the inconsistent music stopped.

"It's because I'm British isn't it!" Bakura called back at the blonde through the width of the door.

"What's a Harry Potter?" Malik looked to Bakura as he waited for a response.

"If you read anything other than yaoi you'd know." Bakura readjusted Anzu so that she was once again over his shoulder and started walking off in search of somewhere to drop the catatonic Anzu.

"Ok Yugi, your turn. Truth or dare?" The wolf whistles and giggles of the five boys inside could be faintly heard through the door as the two overtly flamboyant males headed off. Bakura's ring started to quake on his chest.

"Malik stop being such a poof, we have an unconscious girl to deliver." Presuming it was Malik's fault that the ring was acting up.

"I'm not gay!"

* * *

Well what did you think? Review!


	2. False Hope

Here is the second chapter of me and my friend's wacky fan fic. Enjoy.

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the characters in this story. Everything apart from plot belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.**_

_**Chapter 2:**_

_**False Hope**_

"Where are we taking her?" Malik whined impatiently to the white haired teen as he batted Anzu's dangling hands back and forth.

"How the bloody hell am I supposed to know?" Bakura snapped back at him.

"Well we've been walking around for hours!" Malik took up to stomping as he walked like a sulky child.

"Actually, it's only been about 10 minutes." Bakura corrected the blonde.

"Either way, I'm bored!" At this, Bakura had an ingenious plan to find a place to drop Anzu.

"I know, let's play a game." Malik instantly perked up at his suggestion.

"Ooh, what sort of a game?" Malik was side stepping alongside Bakura whilst clapping his hands.

"First one to think of where to take Anzu gets a prize."

"What kind of a prize?"

"A _sur_prise, now shut up and think of somewhere."

"Ooh, what about that one?" Said Malik, pointing at the Kaiba mansion, which stood prominently on top of the hill. "Do I get the prize now?"

"Isn't that Seto's house?"

"What do I care? Now where's my prize?"

"I guess that ponces' place is as good as any. Also I'm knackered."

Bakura started to ascend the hill to the C.E.O of Kaiba corps mansion, Malik trailing behind him still demanding his prize.

"What do I win? What do I win? What do I win?" Malik was jumping up and down around Bakura.

"You, my friend, get the honour of carrying the groupie up the hill." Malik jumped up and down on the spot clapping his hands enthusiastically. Bakura took the unconscious girl off his shoulder with ease and practically threw her at Malik who finally managed to stabilise her in his arms after almost dropping her, several times. Malik struggled to carry her up the hill and soon started to complain.

"Bakura, I don't like my prize. It's too heavy." Malik whined as he struggled to hold Anzu.

"You've been carrying her for less than a minute!"

"Bakuuuuuuuuuura, can you take her?"

"There's just no time." Bakura's vague reply elicited a confused expression from Malik.

"What?"

"We're nearly there anyway." Bakura pointed ahead to the mansion not far away.

"But-" Malik was cut short by Bakura's outburst.

"I said there's no time!"

* * *

Seto heard the doorbell ring and made his way to the front door, the silk of his pyjama suit rustling and his pink bunny slippers scuffing against the hallway carpet. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with one hand and opened the door with the other to reveal an unconscious Anzu on his doorstep.

"Anzu?" She heard a deep masculine voice that didn't belong to either of the pretty boys. She felt cold stone underneath her cheek and a foot was nudging her back. That was when she realised she wasn't being carried by Bakura or Malik anymore. "Anzu?"

Anzu rolled onto her back to see Seto Kaiba staring down at her. "Did you reconsider my proposal?" Anzu felt a throb in the back of her head where she fell over after walking in on Bakura and Malik.

"What? No, Jeesh!" She stood up and brushed herself off, neatening her clothes and hair in the process.

"Well then why are you on my go away mat?" He pointed down at his mat that had the words 'GO AWAY' printed in red in place of where a normal person would keep a welcome mat.

"Shut up pretty-rich-boy! Now I must further stal-, I mean investigate Bakura and Malik now." She turned around and tottered off home. Seto watched her leave then hung his head and sighed sadly.

"Big brother, is it time for my cameo yet?" Called a whiny voice from inside the house.

"Shut up, Mokuba." Seto replied as he shut the door whilst retreating back into the house. Bakura and Malik watched the whole scene unfold from some nearby bushes.

"What, so she was awake the whole time?" Bakura was taken aback by the sudden realisation.

"I knew we should have lit her on fire. Would have made it more interesting." The blonde replied.

"What are you going on about?" Bakura asked, bemused by Malik's statement.

"You know, like all those American shows where they leave stuff on the doorstep and light it. Ring the doorbell and runaway."

"Yes, but it's not usually people though, is it?" Bakura stated.

"Don't be difficult Fluffy; it's the principle that matters." The two boys got out of the bushes and cleaned themselves of any leaves and branches. "Sooooo. Can we go clubbing now?"

"I don't see why not." Bakura shrugged and set off back down the hill, Malik skipping along beside him.

* * *

The super-special-awesome-manly-studly poker night had left the house hold in disarray. Yugi was sweeping the floors after he had finished cleaning away the pizza boxes and soft drink bottles all by himself whist Yami sat on the couch looking pensive.

"Hey, Yugi, did you notice that we didn't get as much screen time last night?" Yami said, still not helping. Yugi paused in his frantic sweeping and considered this.

"Now that you mention it, Malik and Bakura did hog a lot of the screen time. They must be up to something. And they had Anzu with them!"

"Unconscious Anzu, none the less."

"Gasp!"

"Plot reasons request we must act against them!" Yami proclaimed. Yugi tilted his head in an inquisitive manner. "It's in the script, blame it on the writers." Yami said whilst waving his hand dismissively.

"But what can we do?" Yugi asked.

"Well I have one idea, but it involves a maid's uniform and a whip..."

"Wait what?" Yugi looked flabbergasted.

"Oh wait that's something else. But we could tie them up nonetheless."

"...Riiiiiight." Agreed Yugi whilst slowly inching away from the perverted Yami.

"Hmm, yes." Yami said, mostly talking to himself and ignoring Yugi. "But we need a plan. A cunning and ingenious plan to stop effeminate villains."

"Well we better think quickly. Who knows, they could be plotting something right now!"

* * *

I think you should all review, how about you? :)


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